How to spot a Glimmer

Let’s start at the beginning in defining what I mean by a glimmer.

The term “glimmer” was first coined by social worker Deb Dana in 2018 in her book The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy.  Her work centres around complex trauma and glimmer was a term she created to reflect the opposite of a trigger.

It’s a small micro moment of joy in your everyday, that when you notice it, it creates a calmness and cues your nervous system that all is good and it can relax. 

Glimmers also activate the vagus nerve, which is why I find it so easy to notice glimmers in yoga class - I’m not only doing something I love, but also, especially when practicing Ujjayi breath (or ocean breath which is a lovely description), as this catch in the back of the throat physically activates the vagus nerve as well so it’s positively mega-glimmer mode!

It’s important to note, that glimmers are not part of the toxic positivity world, whitewashing all the bad stuff and pretending everything is good.  No, glimmers aren’t there to mute the hard stuff, but rather make the hard more manageable.

I’m a huge advocate for positive psychology and its benefit to the mind, body and soul.  Glimmers are a part and an extension of this.  Like many of the strands of positive psychology, you don’t have to go out of your way to incorporate them into your day-to-day.

Glimmers are ubiquitous.  They really are everywhere, but are easy to miss if you’re not consciously noticing them.  We have to retrain our brains to spot and capture them and despite the title of this blog, I can’t tell you, step-by-step how to do this.  That’s because what you find to be a glimmer might be similar to me, but also might be really different.

Here are some types of glimmer which lots of people connect to: 

• Experiencing nature
• Spotting a detail - a plant or animal in nature
• Yoga (as mentioned above, definitely on my list)
• The voice of someone you love
• A particular type of music that uplifts or makes you feel joyful
• Laughing with a friend
• Stroking a pet
• Making meaningful eye contact with someone
• Having a powerful therapy or coaching session
• Having a meaningful conversation with someone who “gets it”
• A moment when meditation is flowing
• A beautiful work of art
• Dipping your knife into a brand new jar of marmite

OK, that last one is a little bit niche.  But I added it in to illustrate how fleeting, inconsequential and everyday they can be.  I also wanted it on the list because that new marmite jar moment is one of my favourite things on earth.

If I were to expand the list to include more of my eccentric glimmers, I’d add:

• Watching Tom Cruise running (just so very funny, it fills me with joy)
• The feel of velvet
• When I’m in flow, doing beadwork
• Waking up and realising it’s Saturday
• Going to my favourite beach
• A new notebook that ticks all my very particular stationery needs boxes
• An empty email inbox
• Sitting back and rubbing my baldy head (it is so very soothing and really does seem to bring me good luck).

I could go on, but it’s your turn.  What might be on your glimmer list?

It’s totally OK if the list doesn’t easily tumble from your brain.  It might take a while, even a few months, to emerge.  The important thing is to notice when a glimmer occurs and capture it somehow: if journaling is your thing, that would be a perfect way to capture it.  You could jot it down on a post it, whatsapp a voice note to yourself.

(As a side note, I’ve recently been WhatsApping my own number a lot recently.  I find it the perfect way to capture those fleeting thoughts.  Sometimes I’ll voice note, but that involves relatively more commitment to listen back, so it’s usually text.  And I’m not ashamed to admit, my social media wired brain loves the immediate blue ticks when I message myself: like some sort of perverse validation that I value myself highly.  Yes, I know I’m an eejit).

Anyway… however you want to notice and capture your glimmers is the right way (for you) and, over time, the practice will start to reap the juicy nervous system rewards.  The practice is also the opposite of endless, distracted scrolling where we are numbing our brain and our system; effectively shutting off.  Glimmer spotting is the antidote to this as it encourages us to be fully present, aware and engaged.

As you delve deeper into noticing the glimmers, you can start to define which sort they are.  For example, is it a self-regulating glimmer?  This is one which is individual and occurs on your own.  Or is it a co-regulating one, which involves others: a friend, a pet, a therapist, a group of colleagues etc?

Exploring the type can then lead on to actively creating situations where more glimmers can occur.

Now, I’m not about to waste a tonne of marmite by starting a new jar on a daily basis, but of course, I can welcome more glimmers by getting organised and ensuring I can spend time with fabulous folk, prioritising yoga several times a week, remembering to rub my baldy head when things feel tricky, and so on.

They don’t need to be massive lifestyle changes, just little switches in what you’re already doing to increase the glimmer count.

And when that count is nice and high, perhaps then it’s time to invite Glimmer’s big sister round more often: Awe.  But that’s a blog for another month.

I’d love to hear what’s on your list, so do email, whatsapp or send a message through Instagram or LinkedIn.