How to control the narrative

I often catch people staring when I’m out and about without a wig.  I don’t mind it at all - I’d stare too; it’s just human to be curious about difference and diversity.  On the whole, I find that humans are lovely and they don’t want people to get upset by knowing they are being stared at, so when I catch them staring most people get a bit embarrassed.

The ball is in my court then.  I could just look away and move on, or I could flash them a beaming smile and say hello.  Which one do you reckon I’d do?

If you have ever spent time in my company, you’d know I’d go for a smile and a hello any day of the week.  Of course I would!

What’s utterly fascinating, though, is that people’s responses are much warmer and more friendly than when I used to inanely grin and greet back when I had a normal-ish head of hair.  I guess because I’ve caught them on the back foot, they are more willing to make the effort to meet me where I’m at.  Even though that warmth might have come from a place of sympathy or pity, I think it’s great.  

Can’t wait to go bald on the London tube next time I’m down.  I know my London pals think I’m nuts, but I really do love catching people’s eyes and making them smile on the tube.  It’s such a crushing, dour place, with everyone trying so very hard to ignore each other.  Life doesn’t have to be like that, people!  

Ironically, it’s the Scots who have had the unhelpful stereotype of being dour… compare the Glasgow “clockwork orange” subway to the dour London underground, and it’s a riot of friendliness and exuberance!  It’s one of the many reasons I chose to stay put in Glasgow and make it my home.  I’ve now lived here longer than all the time I lived in various parts of England, so it definitely is home.

Anyway, I digress.  This story about grins and greetings is to illustrate a point: When you are in a situation where you can control the narrative, taking full advantage of this is a powerful thing.  

Just like when I catch someone staring and I turn that around into a friendly warm connection between two humans, I also have the opportunity in any workshop I run, to set the tone and demonstrate to the group what story we are making together.  I do this through my choice of icebreaker.  It’s not just about doing something a bit fun to get folk warmed up.  Heck no!  It is so much more than that.  It’s about atmosphere, curating the group to the right energy level, waking up body and mind, building common ground and connections AND setting the tone for the narrative of that session.

Choose something a little bit silly, but not too silly that the group will reject it and it will get them ready to be innovative and inventive.  Choose a game where they find out new things about each other and they will naturally work better as a team.  Whether you’re running a planning/ideas/strategy day, a ceramics workshop, a course on how to deliver brilliant pitches or anything in between, taking the reins and establishing the mood and narrative through icebreakers is golden.

If you’re new to facilitation or you could do with some pointers to remind you of the icebreakers you love, I’ve just the thing for you.  My brand new course, imaginatively called, Icebreakers! will give you a LOAD of ideas.  It’s also a total bargain at £19, comes with a creative cookbook of ideas and you can access it whenever you want.

June '23