A love letter to my eyelashes as they fall out

Dear eyelashes,

It’s such a shame that you’ve decided to jump ship.  I get it: all my head hair has gone, so I guess you feel like they’ve got a point and there’s little reason for you to hang round too.

I’m not sure if you’ll believe me, but head hair got really confused.  That’s why they left.  There isn’t any clever reason to leave, just that they thought, in their confusion, that I’d be better off without them.  It’s not true.

I needed them but even more than that, I really need you.  

I need you to protect my eyes and stop dust getting in them.  I also need you, and this is the harder one to express, because I look strange without you.

I’ve been really blooming good at finding acceptance around my hairloss, even though head hair has been totally stupid in running away for no good reason. I’ve held my hairless head high and cracked on with my creative, joy-filled life.

But I’m struggling a bit here.  Ear hair has gone.  Nose hair is currently threatening to go.  I’ve patches on my arms and legs and, hey, here’s a funny thing to slightly lighten the mood, guess what?  You don’t get goosebumps on the bits that have no hair.  Fascinating!

As for other body hair, you know what I’m on about; the hair that is rarely discussed even within the alopecia community, yeah, that’s going too.  There’s a funny story about that, but I’m not telling it here.  Alongside the funny, it’s also really deeply strange.  As if that hair wasn’t bound up in enough identity politics as it is, having no hair there, without getting a say in the matter, is seriously messed up.

Anyway, as I say, that one is rarely discussed and I don’t want folk getting uncomfortable so let’s turn the spotlight back on you, eyelashes.  

Right now, I know I will find a way to continue to live my fab life without you, but I’d much rather not go it alone.  You give definition to my face, you make me look a little bit more “normal”: there are no heroes and leading characters without eyelashes.  Female characters without hair are reserved for the ethereal, the odd and the wicked.

I know there’s a whole heap of issues in how I’m feeling, but right now I don’t want to look like the evil witch, I want to be the princess.

Just saying that out loud makes me incredibly cross, though.  I can feel a determination rising in me to challenge that stereotype, but blimey, it’s got some mountain to climb, wading through all that heavy social conditioning.

Urgh.  You see how difficult it is that you’re leaving?  I am not better off without you!  If there is anything I can do to convince you to stay, just say the word… but I also know, deep down, that ship has already sailed. 

By the way, Eyebrows, I’m not ignoring you.  You know that I’ve been telling you every single day for the past year that I appreciate you and need you.  I can see you’re starting to thin and I get it, if all the other hair is going, you’ll want to go too.  It makes me really sad and exhausted though to know I’m going to have to go through all this again when you do fall out.  

I just wish you’d all change your mind, you confused lot.  Regardless, I shall continue to hold my head up high.

With all my love,

Sarah x

World Letter Writing Day, 1st September, 2024